Democrats, having decided that they don't need to actually pass their health reform legislation before they start treating it as law, have begun forcible application of a new procedure authorized by the legislation: frontal obamamies. The procedure literally cuts into a person's brain to remove the "Repubmigdala," the part of the brain that scientists believe is most directly liked to patriotism.
For those interested, the authorization for frontal obamamies is located in the three pages following the provision creating death panels.
The only way to reverse the procedure is through a dangerous operation known only as the "nuclear option."
[ed note: this post is significantly upon this one. It is meant as parody and not intended to asset intellectual property ownership.]
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